WendyMcElroy.com
Baltasar Gracian's Aphorism #260: We belong to none and none to us, entirely.[To access past Gracian aphorism's and my subjective interpretation of them, click here.]
Baltasar Gracian's Aphorism #260: We belong to none and none to us, entirely.
Relationship nor friendship nor the most intimate connection is sufficient to effect this. To give one's whole confidence is quite different from giving one's regard. The closest intimacy has its exceptions, without which the laws of friendship would be broken. The friend always keeps one secret to himself, and even the son always hides something from his father. Some things are kept from one that are revealed to another and vice versa. In this way one reveals all and conceals all, by making a distinction among the persons with whom we are connected.
My interpretation: As close as you are to another person -- a soul-mate spouse or a deeply-loved family member -- never surrender your will and judgment or request the person to surrender them to you. To do so is akin to giving away your soul and becoming another's psychological slave. No one who honestly cares for you would ask that.
As for keeping things secret, yes, I suppose there are 'secrets' I would share with no one because there are details of my life that I wish to be exclusively my own. If they involve no one else, if they harm no one else, I think that's healthy. For example, I might not share some memories from my childhood, I don't share some dreams I have at night or all of my self-doubts. One of the reason I've kept a diary for most of my life is in order to work out the thoughts and questions I'm not ready to discuss, and may never be ready to do so. At some point, you draw a line and say "this is me, this is self, this is mine alone."
As for becoming increasingly reserved as you move away from the center of your relationships (the people you most trust) out toward the periphery...I know the best role some people can play in my life is as friendly acquaintances with whom I deal occasionally and never discuss anything personal. Other people function best as phone friends with whom I catch up every few months; still others are people whose faces I want to see every day while I'm telling them how I feel about life...and so on. This is an emotional or psychological parallel of the intellectual discretion that Gracian suggests you exercise with people who occupy different roles in your life. Be appropriate.
Baltasar Gracian's Aphorism #260: We belong to none and none to us, entirely.
Relationship nor friendship nor the most intimate connection is sufficient to effect this. To give one's whole confidence is quite different from giving one's regard. The closest intimacy has its exceptions, without which the laws of friendship would be broken. The friend always keeps one secret to himself, and even the son always hides something from his father. Some things are kept from one that are revealed to another and vice versa. In this way one reveals all and conceals all, by making a distinction among the persons with whom we are connected.
My interpretation: As close as you are to another person -- a soul-mate spouse or a deeply-loved family member -- never surrender your will and judgment or request the person to surrender them to you. To do so is akin to giving away your soul and becoming another's psychological slave. No one who honestly cares for you would ask that.
As for keeping things secret, yes, I suppose there are 'secrets' I would share with no one because there are details of my life that I wish to be exclusively my own. If they involve no one else, if they harm no one else, I think that's healthy. For example, I might not share some memories from my childhood, I don't share some dreams I have at night or all of my self-doubts. One of the reason I've kept a diary for most of my life is in order to work out the thoughts and questions I'm not ready to discuss, and may never be ready to do so. At some point, you draw a line and say "this is me, this is self, this is mine alone."
As for becoming increasingly reserved as you move away from the center of your relationships (the people you most trust) out toward the periphery...I know the best role some people can play in my life is as friendly acquaintances with whom I deal occasionally and never discuss anything personal. Other people function best as phone friends with whom I catch up every few months; still others are people whose faces I want to see every day while I'm telling them how I feel about life...and so on. This is an emotional or psychological parallel of the intellectual discretion that Gracian suggests you exercise with people who occupy different roles in your life. Be appropriate.
| Donate with Paypal |
 | Donate Bitcoins! |
New Bitcoin address - 30 Nov 2020
1Ee7g7zAUReViPRWtLPBEgnPDRP62qxq3J
1Ee7g7zAUReViPRWtLPBEgnPDRP62qxq3J
Our news can be syndicated by using these rss feeds.
